Sex Drive

Has anyone had a 'corn dog'? I really want to try one. Ahh, the good old American teen comedy. Jizz, breasticles, scrotums and homophobia - they're all here my friend. Thankfully my supremely juvenile sense of humour carried me through. It's exactly like American Pie meets Road Trip. Exactly. Snigger count: moderate to good. Shocked gasps from wife: two. Really liked the Donut costume. Well made for the 'yoof' lot with all the instant messaging and texty visuals. Interesting to see how long it'll be before it all looks really dated. Let's meet back here in 10 years and have a catch up yeh? Don't give me that 'washing my hair' shit. I would like to stay in a cheesily themed motel and throw my shoes into a tree though. Bye!

Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief

Took a very excited Luke to see this today. Tons of people there to see Alice In Wonderland so much queue-me-do was in effect. Stress! Got in just in time as the film was about to start. Starts off very confidently and sets the story up nicely. James Bond as horse was good. As was the bag each of Revels and Mini Eggs that we shared. Nom. Macguffins used to steer characters from one location set-piece to another was a bit tiresome. As are Macguffins generally. And people who comment on Macguffins are the dullest of all. Um. Story firmly in the back seat now - yawn - looking forward to seeing Alan Partridge as the devil again. Effects were decent. So like, if the ancient Greek Gods were going to create portals to travel between their magnificent world and our humble planet - would they really have based it all in the USA? Didn't any of them suggest - you know- Greece? Luke loved it and it does look like a franchise could be in the offing. Entertaining but slight overall then. Like a Fetherlite Durex.

Jennifer's Body

A skanky turd of a movie. Not helped by me feeling rough and being in a fuck of a grumpy mood. Bad week. There was some spiky, black vomit. Not in my week silly you - in this film. Umm, what else happened? Some stuff that was not worth looking at. Even Mmmm Fox didn't deliver on the film's title - not once was I distracted from my choc and wine gorgefest (like I said, bad week) by carnal treats. Lance Henriksen looks old and JK Simmons is pretending to be Dr No. The last two films I've seen have been poo. Me no happy and like not this film diet. Some tastier morsels promised at the cinema this month though yeh?

The Boat That Rocked

Sweet Jesus this was dull. Middle-of-the-road, middle England dull. Only interest for me was trying to figure out if the news bloke was actually Will from TFI Friday. Turns out he was. There's a character in it whose name is Twat. Ha ha isn't that funny ha. Thank Satan's slippers for the soundtrack which at least prevented me from head butting the telly. Awful nicey-nice awfulness.

Up

Such a brilliant film - probably enjoyed it even more on this, my second viewing. Funny, thrilling, poignant, SQUIRREL. God knows what they have in the water coolers at Pixar. Imagine working at a place like that where everything you do is bloody good and everyone loves it. This is easily the best thing they've done in this bloke's opinion. Maybe even one of my favourite films. Story, visuals, characters, music, SQUIRREL - all completely bob on.

Watched it with Mrs F and Luke and all three of us were laughing all the way through. Dug the Dog is new family hero. In a perfect world this would win Best Film at the Oscars and not just Best Animated Film. Sadly, that won't happen but watching Up lets you believe in all the great possibilities life can offer - if only for a little while.